So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages / When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause right here, our underneath* June 9, 2008
Posted by charmingbutsingle in Dating, My family is sure I will never marry, Social Networking Awkwardness.trackback
So, let’s say that hypothetically a friend you met through Professional Networking Stuff who doesn’t know the ins and outs of your dating life asks you if you are seeing anyone.
And you respond, “No. No. No one. Not anyone. At all. Why are you asking?”
And then she proceeds to say, “Well, um, you see, one of my friends just joined Facebook and she invited her whole address book, so suddenly I’ve added many new friends from high school.”
And she continues, “And there is this one guy who I think is just great. One of those people I hold dear.”
And then she proceeds to tell you about him and ends with, “The thing about him is …” before she gets cut off by her adorable four year old who is swashbuckling around the table in cowboy boots with a fake sword at the (very much) casual outdoor patio of the restaurant where you are eating, much to the chagrin of exactly no one because all of the other diners are focused solely on a baseball game.
Topics get changed and then you’re on your way home and you realized you never get back to whatever the thing about the mystery guy is … and then you Facebook stalk him only to find no picture and a private profile.
Would you assume he was a two-headed albino half-man, half-beast creature, with a Mohawk on one head and a mullet on the other?
Or is that just me?
* Ok, fine, this post title/song lyric has even less to do with the post than normal. I’m just excited that the new Alanis CD comes out on Tuesday.
“[A] two-headed albino half-man, half-beast creature, with a Mohawk on one head and a mullet on the other.”
And is there something wrong with that??? Insult your readers, why don’t you! My two heads already pay two therapy bills per month (to say nothing of haircare costs). Now we’ll have to go TWICE as often just to get over this… this… this OUTRAGE!!!
inky
I don’t blame you for fearing the worst, I would too! But it can’t hurt to remind your friend about what the two of you were talking about, if you care, that is!
What is wrong with a mohawk?
I’m sure the one thing wrong with him is something innocent like “He has this anime porn addiction”
I would also think the worst. Just to be on the safe side…
Wait, that’s so bizarre! She just stumbled across this dude’s Facebook profile after presumably not seeing him in ages (possibly since high school?), he has some Mysterious Problem, and the first thing she thinks of is to set him up with you?
I’d go out with him for the story if nothing else. Might be a good one!
But even if he is such a creature as the “half-man, half-beast creature”, what if he has a great personality and a spectacular sense of humor? That’s what all the women I know say is more important than looks anyway…
Ooh what a cliff hanger…”the thing about him is”…man that would make me crazy. I hope you get to the bottom of it. I wouldn’t worry too much about the lack of a picture, though. I know a few very cute, nice guys who don’t have pictures up on Facebook.
I wouldn’t worry too much. I guess what I think is that the people who knew me in high school, don’t have much of an idea of what I’m like now. They may say, oh…she’s the thing about her is…It may be that he dated one of her long time friends or the thing about his is…”he’s bangin’. I can’t date him bc we’re such good friends!” You never know. And, plenty of people keep their facebook private and you can see pictures once you add them as a friend.
I would dig a little deeper.
He has a kid. Not hard to read between these lines.
I had no idea you were a mullet racist. How dare you, sir.
If he’s one of those people she holds dear FROM HIGH SCHOOL, then it would beg two questions with me:
How much time has she spent around him since high school?
Please to be explaining more about this ‘thing’ of which she speaks and whether it takes away from his obviously ‘endearing’ qualities.
I have very strict rules when it comes to meeting a “blind date” I only do this after seeing a picture, it always scares me when one of the men on match contacts me and doesn’t have a picture, it leaves only one assumption, he has nasty teeth and acne. The last one I meet I only saw pictures of him with sunglasses on…. and when I met him (call me superficial) but his eyes were abnormally close together… but I would definetly ask your friend about his guy.. you never know!
I think it would be human nature to expect the worst… I know I would too! However, it could be an innocent “the thing about him is…” I say talk to your friend and get more details, then decide if you want to meet him.
The skeptic in me would wonder about the ‘great guy’ who she ‘holds dear’…
You’ve had the classic friend-of-a-friend-with-a-great-sense-of-humor description. That’s all you get.
Because wouldn’t someone normally lead or at least follow up with cute/handsome/has a great smile, body, eyes/tall or something to let you know that there’d be some sort of physical attraction.
Expect the worst, hope for the best. Keep us posted!
I’d want more info before any surprises like the blue faux-hawk!
My friend, Jamie, has tried to set me up twice. Both times she extolled on the virtues of the prospective suitors, before ending with the sentence “I mean, so what if…”
1. “… he lives with his mother and can’t hold a job?”
2. “… he has a lazy eye? It’s really only bad when he’s drunk.”
Be wary, that’s all I’m sayin’.
I may be a little too hopeful at times… but I started thinking maybe he’s a hottie! So, maybe you should ask her where she was going with that sentence (or for a pic!) on your next Professional Networking night.
ok, i bet it’s something totally unexciting, like the thing about him is…
…he’s divorced.
…he’s too shy to ask anyone out.
…he’s new in town.
…he lives in rural Wyoming.
shoot her an email and ask her about him. then you will know, and possibly be relieved. and then you can date him and fall in love.
Wow, cliffhanger conversation! Maybe he has kids?
I’m thinking “he just got out of a serious relationship/he just seperated from his wife/his wife just died.” Or maybe “he lives in Thailand.” You just never know!
Oh the possibilities. The good thing is that most of what you’ll imagine is (should be, hopefully) worse than whatever she was going to say…
“He picks his nose” perhaps? Okay, that’s pretty bad…
You know, I was actually picking my nose as I scrolled down through this, and I’m a handsome, intelligent guy. Are you telling me, Trish Ryan, that you don’t even pick your nose when nobody’s looking?
CBS, if a man picks his nose, he’s okay. If, however, he eats the product of his excavations, run for the door.
inky
Girl you’d better call that friend up and take her out for an adult beverage and get the scoop. . .hurry!
Here I am, late to the party and still no update.
There seems to be a consensus here: call your friend and ask her to finish that sentence!
can’t wait to hear the outcome.
…he was recently released from the psychiatric ward at the local hospital.
Sounds okay to me.
My guesses — he lives elsewhere or he has kids or he is recently divorced. Or maybe a combo of those.
Why doesn’t someone who is single include a photo on their profile? How can you not think the worst?
Please contact your friend and report back to us!
LOL Please, I always think the worst if there is no picture. What are you hiding?