Coming out of the closet November 6, 2007
Posted by charmingbutsingle in NaBloPoMo, Seriously!.trackback
Maybe right now you’re ever sitting around thinking, “How can I blow someone’s mind?”
And you’ve run through all of the scenarios involving different activities and outfits and scenarios and you just can’t quite put your finger on what it would take to literally blow someone’s mind and cause them to scream and curse and carry on.
My friends, I have figured it out – tell them you’ve never seen “The Princess Bride.”
Trust me, you’ll get mind-blown screaming, yelling, arm flailing, wailing, carrying on, the whole nine.
I know, because I’ve never seen this movie and, well, suffice it to say that everyone who hears that calls me crazy and then demands that I stop talking to them immediately and go rent it or buy it or steal it or illegally download it from an overseas Web site or somehow will the movie to transport itself directly into my brain. I know so very little about this movie, except for the fact that Wikipedia says it is “Not just your basic, average, everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum fairy tale” and that people seem legitimately pissed off when I mention that I’ve never seen it, as if I’m not only denying myself the joy of such a movie, but that I am somehow denying the world another person who has.
At this point, I’m almost not seeing it to spite you all. And because it could never possibly live up to the gasps of horror and testaments of its quality and humor that have been hurled at me over the years.
i’m okay with having never seen this movie. let’s start a club.
You can see the movie and still blow everyone’s minds easily. After you’ve seen it, just tell anyone who asks that you think it’s the worst movie ever made. The open-mouthed stares of silence, followed by incoherent sputtering, should be quite entertaining.
No, better yet tell them you’ve never seen any Star Wars movies, Rocky movies, Jaws movies, The Lord of The Rings trilogy and you’ve only seen one James Bond movie. Trust me, they’ll look at you like you’ve got 3 heads. I totally hear you on the “not seeing them out of spite” now. I refuse to watch any of them but I have seen The Princess Bride.
You’re not missing much. Don’t worry. =)
Some Other Ways to Blow Someone’s mind: An occasional series:
1.) I don’t have cable or satellite TV. Never did as an adult.
2.) I pay cash for my cars and then run them into the ground about a decade later, (if I’m lucky!). Always.
3.) I read. Still & Lots.
4.) People get religion when I’m driving with them in the car. ‘As in Jeezus, you did what…?’ All the damn time. Probably not mind blowing enough, right? Did I mention it’s a 4cy car that cranks out all of 133HP?
5.) I’ve got music from the dawn of recorded history. It’s way easier now too…[http://www.archeophone.com/index.php]. I know how to load an Edison cylinder machine, and who’s still recording on that format.
6.) I know the Library of Congress thinks that most CD’s are such crap, that they’re re-recording their most prized sound recordings on to ’78’s.
7.) Give half a chance I can name members of Louis Armstrong’s bands along with Duke Ellinton’s, Count Basie, Charlie Mingus, etc.
8.) I can seemingly go into almost any Antique Mall, (the larger the better), and run into someone who knows less about what they’re selling than I do. (Wait, that’s getting less & less unusual, right?)
9.) I used to be able to tell who was playing & conducting a classical piece just by the way it sounded on the recording. The 50’s sounded different than the 60’s which in turn sounded different than the 70’s & 80’s. Then you work on the national origins. French orchestras sound different than German’s, and they’re both different than American’s or British. Believe it or not. And of course this is no longer all that relevant to most folks.
10.) I value smarts over almost anything else. Looks, charm, suaveness, glibness. If I’m talking to you and it’s quickly obvious you’re a dullard, I won’t be talking to you for long. No matter how ’smashing’ you look. I can look from across the room and not have to endure your inanities & idiocies. This seems less shocking as it is annoying to most folks. I’m not cruel about it at all. I just don’t spend too much time with fools. Hence the lack of much TV, right?
I was so sure I could do a bit better here too! Cheers, ‘VJ’
Haha! I get this same reaction when I tell people I’ve never seen it! Of course, I’ve never seem Star Wars, Shawshank Redemption, Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, all the essentials.
Now, I get the surprised reaction when I HAVE seen something. My friends and I were watching Notting Hill the other night and one of them asked me if I had seen it before. I answered “Um, obviously I have seen Notting Hill.” They burst out laughing and said “Susie, obviously, nothing. It’s not obvious you’ve seen ANY movie.”
Haha I know what you mean though. Some of the movies I haven’t seen I don’t even want to see just because I don’t want to give people the satisfaction
Um. I’ve actually never watched the whole thing. I either fall asleep or get distracted. Which is not hard to do. So…while some people love it, it has yet to keep my attention. I will make one concession - don’t watch the movie with a very cute, very charming boy. I remember maybe the first half hour. And then a blue screen with a bouncing “DVD” logo.
Other ways to shock people:
1) Tell them you’re a virgin. Whether or not they believe it is a different story.
2) Convince them that you’ve become a closet crystal meth user. “But…you’re so nice! And innocent! And…when?!”
3) Tell people you’ve never read the Harry Potter series. Or seen the movies.
I haven’t seen it either.
I also haven’t seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies or any of the Star Wars Prequels…in fact the list of movies I haven’t seen is about 10 times longer than the ones i have seen.
I guess i’m just not much of a movie person….there always seem to be better things to do with 2-3 hours and $15 and on the odd occassion I do indulge I usually come out regretting it.
I hadn’t seen it for a long long time either. And then I was finally convinced to watch it with a boy. And it was just as satisfying to say I didn’t get why everyone thought it was so great as it was to say I’d never seen it!
You can go on not seeing it to spite us, but you’d only be hurting yourself. ; )
Seriously, it’s a very cute movie. Or you could go see Stardust, that new one with Claire Danes, my friend says it’s the new Princess Bride.
I remember when I found out my husband, back when we were dating in high school, told me he’d never seen Airplane. Soon after we went out and rented it. I like to think I added a little something to his life by making him watch it…
I’ve never seen any of the back to the future movies.
I was 18 the first time I saw Princess Bride and I was highly annoyed because I watched it with a bunch of freaks who knew every word and I couldn’t even hardly hear the movie. I was predisposed to dislike it.
But one day I was sick and it was the only thing on TV without commercials and …. it was pretty great.
I’ve never seen monty python which drives my friends nuts, but the only reason it is in my netflix queue is so that I can get watching it out of the way and finally understand all of those pop-cultural references. You should watch PB if for that reason only… but if you get more satisfaction out of being contrary who are we to deny you?
What?! You haven’t seen it????
Kidding!!! It must be an US thing, ’cause I saw it and thought it was NO big deal.
I just had a similar experience of friends looking at me like I was crazy, mouths wide open, brows arched perplexed. One of them swiftly loaned me her copy of the movie — over a month ago — and I still haven’t seen it.
I’m a bit concerned that it won’t live up to the hype. But I guess the only way to find out is just to watch it.
OK, someone hasn’t seen the Back to the Future trilogy? I would have to say that they are my favorites!
And Princess Bride was good when I was 12, but I don’t know how into it I’d be now. Especially since I watched it probably 100 times then… = ) How about the Never Ending Story (1 &2)… and now they have a 3 too!
I have to admit, I was a bit horrified to read this, and wanted for you to go out and rent it immediately. But I’m now embarrassed by my initial reaction.
If forced to view it, you are certain to hate it. Kind of like that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is forced to sit through The English Patient twice and, when she admits that she hates the film, all those around her are aghast.
Try telling a guy you’ve never seen the GodFather Trilogy… You’ll have all of them offering you their copies to get you in the know…
I had the same reaction when someone told me they hadn’t seen The Goonies. Shock. Awe. And perhaps a hit to the shoulder. They are both classics.
The Princess Bride is one of my top ten movies, but I’m not going to give you a hard time for not seeing it, because I’ve got some that I’ve never seen that seem to boggle minds.
Titanic. The hideous Celine Dion song is the reason why.
Napoleon Dynamite. There are people who swear it’s hilarous. Pass.
The Lord of the Rings. I loved the books, afraid the movies won’t compare
Ghost. Never appealed.
Never saw The Princess Bride either.
Also Never saw or read anything Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. That seems to shock people also.
1) lower expectations
2) rent Princess Bride
3) get great bottle of wine
4) enjoy funny movie with great wine
really, a pretty great movie. if for no other reason than the quotes to use later.
But, to each her own.
Ok, first, Bittersweet Connection, I’m a guy and I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies, nor do I have the urge to. Second, the Harry Potter series - also not interested because the hype of the books and movies is so ridiculous, it really could never live up to it.
Serioulsy, The Princess Bride is worth watching, as rg said, “If for no other reason than the quotes to use later.” and if you regret it later, you can publicly scold all of us for telling you to do so.
I saw some of The Princess Bride on tv recently and I really don’t have a clue why people like it. Sorry to those of you who love it!
an acceptable alternative is to read the BOOK of the princess bride, which is light years better as it provides a whole ton of backstory that the movie kind of NEEDS to leave out and refers to inigo as a “spanish death machine”.
this is my favorite movie of all time. i know it forward and backwards and how many times vizzini says “ha” before he dies. in high school spanish, i did a 10 minute speech about this movie - in spanish (natch). it ruled. this movie rules. you SHOULD see it. or at the very least, read the book.
You’re only hurting yourself by not seeing this movie. Kevin Arnold is even in it!
I have NEVER seen it either and I don’t care if I don’t ever see it.
I’ll read Anna Karenina if you see Pricess Bride.
I really hate seeing movies that don’t live up to the books. But for those of you who haven’t seen Lord of the Rings for that reason, I’d encourage you to have a look. It’s pretty good, assuming you can get past the whole “they left out Tom Bombadil! thing”. The Harry Potter movies aren’t too bad either - they seem to be made for people who have read the books, I can’t see how you’d understand them if you hadn’t.
As for The Princess Bride, well it helps to see the movie first so you get which bits of the book are supposed to be funny. Either way, it’s missable. But the fact that its biggest fans seem to be guys is a source of great amusement to me. It must bring out their inner desire to be Prince Charming and go to the rescue of damsels in distress…
I’ve had the same reaction from people when I tell them I’ve never seen “Titanic”
new to posting on your blog - but ive come aross it from others’ and quite enjoy reading.
anyways! in response to your post… i’ve never seen Goonies - and receive quite some crazy responses/looks to this whenever i tell people.
I hear that! Once I was one of those that never saw The Breakfast Club - and people would just die from that news. Then I watched it and don’t like it. Oh I don’t dare share that with people because they have a hissy fit like I told them I eat children or something. Sheesh!
so…..yeah. i’m twentyfour and saw the movie for the first time like, oh, maybe seven months ago? and i’ve owned it. since my 21st birthday. yeah.
trust me, i get it. the people’s reactions…and yes, its annoying but i finally caved. and yeah, i hate to admit it….but it’s pretty good. keep us posted if you watch it.
xo, blogging barbie
You’ve never seen The Princess Bride? Inconceivable!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. And, um, yeah, I fell asleep during Pulp Fiction AND Star Wars. Kinda fun to blow people’s minds, isn’t it?
I love The Princess Bride. I own the film and book versions, and like them pretty equally. Enjoy either or both of them at your leisure, but not anyone else’s.
Your ‘The Princess Bride’ is my ‘Braveheart’. Don’t give in…I think TPB is a great movie, but do it just to spite people. Then sit back and enjoy their reaction!
When I was 21 and working for a summer camp, one of my fellow counselors found out that I hadn’t seen the Princess Bride and totally freaked out. Then he made me wear a Scarlet P (which was really just a P drawn in sharpie marker on a pink post-it note). Our boss walked in as he was berating me, and he pointed at my chest and yelled, “Do you know what this is?” And she responded, “A Scarlet P, of course, but WHY?”
After that, the both forced me to host a movie night for the campers and to show the Princess Bride. I loved it. I know own it and the book. But like Em said, enjoy both or either at your leisure!
And I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies all the way through. They are SO BORING.
I think The Princess Bride is COMPLETELY annoying. I hate every character. And yes I love to blow people’s minds by telling them that!
I’ve never seen it either!
omg……there are too many comments here that piss me off. every single movie mentioned that people here haven’t seen are ALL GOOD.
princess bride
back to the future
star wars (the first 3 anyway)
lord of the rings (although i can sorta understand why some book-version lovers won’t see it)
godfather trilogy
etc.
i think all of you people need to get over it and go watch these great films!!!! AAAAARRRRGH.
yes, i’m one of the people who would look at you like you are nuts for not having seen it.
then again, i have only seen the wizard of oz once, at age 22, and i hated it. and i know nothing about harry potter. nor do i care to.
so maybe we all have a movie like that.
Most people of our age (I’m 2
who love this movie (me included) saw it when we were young and impressionable. I’ve viewed it since and still love it, but it may be one of those movies you have to see when you’re a young’un to really LOVE and loses something with maturity. Like how my otherwise intelligent boyfriend thinks RoboCop is a great film.